


When Will You Learn

by sheepishwxlves



Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:05:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepishwxlves/pseuds/sheepishwxlves
Summary: Holden should really think before he speaks.





	1. Chapter 1

The interview comes to an abrupt end when Holden says something without thinking and Farner lunges across the table, his fist finding a happy home on Holden’s jaw with a sickening crack. Holden feels the impact reverberating through his skull, down his spine, until it reaches his toes as his body hits the floor. He’s not sure how long he’s been laying on the ground, but it couldn’t have been long because when he sits up, the guards are forcing Farner into handcuffs. 

Holden’s ears are ringing. Ringing as Farner is shoved out of the room. Still ringing as Bill grabs Holden’s arm, pulls him to his feet roughly, and drags him down the corridor and out of the prison. Holden vomits in the parking lot before Bill shoves him into the passenger seat and throws himself into the driver’s seat. 

Bill turns the key in the ignition without a word. He exits the prison parking lot without a word. He drives down long stretches of road without a word. It’s not until he pulls into the emergency room parking lot (much to Holden’s surprise) that he speaks.

“Holden, I swear to God, if you have a broken jaw, or - or a concussion or something, I am not going to be happy.” Holden just hangs his head, his jaw throbbing with his heartbeat, not realizing that he needs to get out of the car until Bill opens his door and yanks him out by the arm. In the ER waiting room, Holden is given a partially melted ice pack and told to sit down while Bill checks him in. “Can’t believe I’m doing this right now,” Bill mumbles under his breath, just loud enough for Holden to feel a pang of guilt bounce around the walls of his chest. Holden is relieved when a nurse calls him back and Bill doesn’t follow.

****

After several hours in the ER, when Holden is laying down, half-asleep from whatever drugs he’s on, unable to open his mouth because his teeth are wired together, he finally sees Bill again, brought into the room by the nurse. He thanks whatever gods there may be that he can barely speak in his current state. 

In his haze, Holden only catches part of the conversation between Bill and the nurse.

“...broken jaw and a moderate concussion… wired shut… no solid foods… will need time off of work…”

He hears Bill sigh when the nurse leaves the room. Holden closes his eyes as a tear drips down his cheek and onto his neck. He doesn’t know why he’s crying.

“You okay, kiddo?” Bill asks. Holden tries to respond, he really does, but between the crying, his broken jaw, the drugs, and the concussion, it comes out like more of a garbled mess, so he ends up just nodding his head instead. When he opens his eyes again, he notices the release forms in Bill’s hand. “Ready to go?” Holden nods again, getting to his feet slowly. He lazily removes his gown and puts on his clothes that are draped over a chair, not even caring that Bill is there. 

Bill leads Holden to the car in the darkness, (had they really been there that long?) and eases Holden into the passenger seat. Bill drives away in thoughtful silence towards their motel. Watching his surroundings go by makes Holden dizzy, so he shuts his eyes and begins to cry again. He’ll blame it on the drugs. Bill looks over with concern when Holden sniffs.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Bill asks, trying to stay focused on the road.

“‘M...so-sorry. ...Shouldn’t ‘ve… shouldn’t ‘ve-” Holden tries.

“Kid, listen. I’m sorry I got mad at you earlier. I know you’re hurting. But you really gotta think about what you’re saying before you say it.”

“I-I know…”

“And I really am sorry I was upset with you earlier. I really do care about you. I hope you know that.” Holden just nods in response and they sit in silence the entire way back to the motel, the only noise being Holden’s sniffling and the whirring of the engine.


	2. Chapter 2

Holden gets into the elevator and takes a deep breath while pressing the button to the basement. He walks down the hall and into the office where Wendy, Bill, and Gregg, are gathered at Bill's desk. They all turn around at the sound of the door opening and Bill immediately gives Holden a look that says "What the fuck are you doing here?"And then Bill says it out loud.

"Holden, what the fuck are you doing here? Doctor said at least a week off." Wendy and Gregg both have their mouths open slightly, staring at Holden's black and blue jaw. Holden shifts uncomfortably.

"Um... well, I wanted to listen to the tape. But, I'm going to stay home the rest of the week," he mutters through his wires. Bill just gives him a look of disappointment, before a look of worry comes over his face.

"Oh, God, and driving with a concussion? Holden-"

"I got a cab," Holden supplies quietly, leaning on his desk to steady himself.

"What happened?" Wendy asks, straightening herself out. Bill stands, pushing his hands against his desk.

"I'll tell you what happened. Holden doesn't know how to think before he speaks, so Farner knocked him out and I had to drag his ass to the emergency room to have his jaw wired shut," Bill says, gesturing frantically.

*****

Holden doesn't know why he wanted to listen to the tape. It's the concussion; he's not thinking clearly. His cheeks are burning the entire time. And finally, they're reaching the end, and, oh, god Holden can't handle it.

***** 

"So, why only men? What difference did you see between killing men and killing women?"

"Well, with men, it was always more of a power struggle, but eventually I came out on top. It was always more satisfying, ya know?"

"So, you wouldn't say that you're a homosexual?" 

But there's only Farner's heavy breathing and the faint clicking of the tape. Then there's a low growl, the sound of Farner's chair falling to the floor, Farner's fist hitting Holden's face, a yell from Bill, Holden hitting the floor. Then, the clanking of handcuffs as Farner is dragged out, and a soft "Get up, Holden". When there's no sound of movement Bill lets out a "Fuck, kid, come on". Then there's the click of the tape recorder turning off.

*****

"Well, I think he answered your question, Holden," Wendy says. If anyone else had said it, it would have been funny.

*****

True to his word, Holden stays in bed the next day. And the next day, and the next week and a half. Bill stops by sometimes to make sure Holden is eating and taking care of himself as best he can. Holden does a lot of sleeping, which is kind of nice for a change. He's lost a lot of weight, too. It's the liquid diet. 

After almost two weeks away, Holden drives himself to work.

He's not feeling completely better, he still gets dizzy and these wicked headaches that only sleep can remedy, but he figures he's been away long enough. Wendy is the first to greet him when he arrives in the office.

"Holden! Glad to see you're better," she says in her usual calm manner. Holden takes a seat at his desk while expressing his thanks. She pretends not to notice how hollow his cheeks are. He nods toward Bill and Gregg in greeting. Bill gives him a skeptical look, but otherwise lets him be. 

Holden only falls asleep once at his desk, while typing up a transcript of an interview that Bill and Wendy went on. Bill, of course it's Bill, is the one to wake him up.

"Hey, kid. Do you need to go home?" Bill asks gently, more gently than Holden ever thought Bill could be. 

"N-no, 'm fine," he mumbles, still half asleep. He opens his eyes blearily before realizing where he is. "Fuck, oh, shit. I'm sorry, I-"

"Holden, it's okay, kid," Bill reassures, chuckling. Holden rewinds the tape and goes back to typing the transcript.

*****

Four weeks later, Holden gets his wires removed. He still can't talk normally and he wonders if he'll ever live this thing down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for an update. I wasn't planning on updating, but here we are.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I've been thinking of a second chapter where Holden has to deal with repercussions at work. Let me know if I should add it.


End file.
